Team Profile 2006

Tim

Also known as the ‘Gay Icon’. It must be hard to keep it up, if you pardon the pun, but the artificially distressed leather jacket and pirate bandana did go a long way to completing the look. Doesn’t fish and naturally owns a non-fishing car, according to the ‘Fishing Nutter’, but it must be said in all other respects the little blue M-B is quite outstanding.

Key characteristics: production of tea at all hours of day and night, very tidy and has a wife who can bake; amongst other things: apparently.

John

A little morose at first – largely due to the antics of other team members particularly in the ‘phaffing about at shopping without a list’ department. Demonstrated exceptional skill at manoeuvring the floating caravan through a densely raced stretch of river surrounded by ancient yachts and also prevailed as team cook despite a challenging list of unavailable ingredients however, gaseous consequences are best left undiscussed.

Key characteristics: Flapjack abuse through its use as groundbait (as if!!! Oh sorry Chris!) and proposing its use to weigh down the TV aerial.

Phil

Didn’t start well having failed to return last year’s trophy, bring a torch or remember to get wife to bake a cake. Continued poorly by producing bottle of ancient port with disintegrating cork, ignoring advice of John which resulted in inadvertent entry into water of starboard leg and consequent display of slightly gay leather boots.

Key characteristic: Inability to navigate in the correct direction despite having spent twenty years at sea – well, its different on a river…..

Dunk

Keen and proficient fisherman (sorry – who got the biggest fish, hum, hum? Oh, and while we’re at it who scored ‘nil point’ as the French say on Sunday morning? Hum hum). Yes, well, details details. Keen video diary creator but quite fortunate the batteries ran out – it was a bit mean of John to hide the charger but never mind. Aversion to baked beans and lists balanced by strange attraction to ‘Boatyard Wench’

Key characteristic: Energy stealing [No, no one else knew what he was on about either].

Other players

The Fishing Nutter

Resident of the Wroxham Fishing Shop.

Abundant advice on where to fish; such as ‘in the river’ which while technically correct is of course utterly useless. Can even provide culinary advice on cooking Bream – Oven bake in oak for 2 hours then throw away Bream and eat wood – yes, thank you for that!

Boatyard Wench